I haven’t done any work on my thesis or fistula project since coming to Maine two weeks ago. That nagging feeling that makes you feel like you should be doing something productive just because you have free time is beginning to tug at me. Hopefully I’ll be able to store up all of these thoughts so that when I do return to life post vacation I actually get things done. Actually doing things I could do – no fuckin way.
Regardless, I have a day off from dialysis today and I really want to make the best of it. I would be out on the water right now, but the tide is quite low and our little bay really empties out during low tide. I went sailing with Rose earlier today, which was a blast. We used our two 12 foot nutshell prams that we (my dad mostly) built over the course of five or six summers a while ago. I always have this expectation of myself that whenever I have a day off from dialysis I must have as much fun or do as much as freaking possible. I dread the idea that I’m sitting around doing nothing voluntarily when I’d be forced to sit around doing nothing during a treatment, and of course, I don’t like that. What am I sitting here typing for anyway?
